Relational mindfulness
(Circling)
aware, curious, alive

"Absolutely amazing. So grateful for this course! I think everyone should take it. So important!"

Anna Kebo

A relational form of mindfulness for those who want to live more in touch with themselves and others.

We offer courses in Relational Mindfulness online and live in Swedish, and online in English. The English online courses will start this autumn. Sign up for our newsletter to stay updated. For booking our Swedish courses, see www.vanskapslabbet.se

 

WHAT IS RelationAl mindfulness?

   In this form of meditation, also known as 'Circling', we practice becoming more and more aware of what is happening within ourselves, in other people and between us, to create deeper and more authentic connections - a skill that will benefit you throughout your life.

   Unlike classical mindfulness training, which is often done in solitude or with eyes closed, we do Relational Mindfulness with other people with our eyes open. In practical terms, the training takes place in pairs, small groups or whole groups. We practice putting into words what we experience in the moment when we are in contact with one or more people.

 

   The training also explores the different layers of reality we experience in the moment. For example, noticing what feels alive in me right now, what is happening in my body right now, what I am curious about, what I am afraid of, what is going on in my thoughts, what is happening in my emotions, what beliefs I have about the other person or myself.

 

   The training requires a certain amount of courage, but our experience also tells us that you will also get many insights and experience much laughter, a strong sense of connection and deeper presence with others than you have previously experienced. 

 



We base Relational Mindfulness on our knowledge in:

* Functional Analytic Psychoterapy

* Polyvagal theory

* Vipassana Insight Meditation

* Somatic Experiencing
* Circling
 





 

"Therapy, development and nourishment through social digital practices.

Thank you for an informative and fantastic course!"

- Amy Tsui Andersen

 

"Such a nice experience to meet in this way, so naked, simple and close. Restful together."

- Ingrid Nielsen

 

"Superb! Simply great! I have deepened my understanding of allowing myself to be exactly who I am in this moment and that being authentic is rewarding for me and others. I have also found great value in simply exploring the present moment and trusting that what comes will come, instead of trying to control what I will respond in advance."

- Emilia Tornell

WHAT IS THE PURPOSE?

   Already as infants, our attention seeks the faces and eyes of other people. We look for contact. We seek reassurance, and in the best of worlds we are met with presence from our caregiver. If our parents are stressed or have difficulty being present or regulating their own emotions, contact can become associated with insecurity, shame and other feelings that make us feel stressed.

 

   As children we need contact to survive, and if our parents have difficulty meeting us, we are forced to use different ways to make contact; we hide our own feelings, we empathise with our parent instead of them empathising with us, we take on different roles to get attention such as always being happy, kind and talented.

 

   In Relational Mindfulness we can get in touch with these roles and strategies and learn new ways of relating to contact that are more healing and that benefit us better in the here and now.

 

One of the aims of Relational Mindfulness is to become aware of our blind spots regarding our relationship with ourselves and with others in order to create deeper connections. Another purpose of Relational Mindfulness is to be seen as we are. When we are seen by non-judgmental and present people, a number of health-promoting physiological processes are activated, such as the parasympathetic nervous system and the vagus nerve, and relational wounds can heal.

 

   In Relational mindfulness we assume that we don't need to change ourselves or anyone else, but rather to become aware of our thoughts and beliefs that we "should" change something.

We achieve this by::

  • practicing the ability to be mindful and present with others

  • practicing to see through our beliefs about others,
    ourselves and the world

  • practise the ability to be with the unknown,
    with uncertainty

  • letting go of ideas and concepts and instead be in
    the here and now and experience our direct experience

  • cultivate a non-judgemental and curious mind

  • be curious about the inner world of others

  • be curious about, explore and respect our personal
    comfort zone

  • ask for support to come back to balance and presence

  • set up boundaries if we need to

 

Relational mindfulness can be therapeutic

   Relational mindfulness is not a form of therapy but it can be therapeutic. An important difference between therapy and Relational Mindfulness is that therapy involves a therapist and an unequal power relationship - a 'teacher' and a 'student'.

 

   In Relational Mindfulness, everyone is a teacher and everyone is a student. Everyone is a beginner, new to what is happening in the present moment. Through shared exploration in a non-judgmental and accepting environment, deep relational wounds can be healed. Another difference is that in therapy we often bring something we want help to resolve, which is not the case in Relational Mindfulness.

Get a taste for Relational Mindfulness:
   If you would like to get a deeper understanding or a taste of Relational Mindfulness, you can look out for our free trial evenings by signing up to our newsletter.


 

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